Let’s chat about loving ourselves.
Serving our highest good, to the best of our ability, at all times.
Empowering our insides with the decisions we make.
It is our responsibility. YOUR responsibility. To love yourself enough.
Today I have toxicity on my mind.
In my years as a self proclaimed ‘aware’ adult, I have seen many people, myself included, remain in situations which are clearly not serving our highest purpose. Going along with something, even though we are not getting the best vibe.
From relationships with friends, family or partners, to work situations, to the dating scene, to conversations with people.
Why on Earth do we do this? Why would we stay somewhere which is not good for us?
I have a couple of ideas:
Leaving behind a situation or environment which no longer provides for you, is one of the deepest forms of self love I can think of. And it is something we all need to practice with a little more awareness. Saying ‘no’ when it doesn’t feel the best is a great place to begin. It sounds simple, but this two letter word certainly presents it’s own individual challenges.
We stay in situations because even though it may be shitty, we know it’s shitty! The alternative ‘could’ be horrifically shitty. Mind you, we don’t actually know that. The alternative could also be filled with everything we desire. Our body’s defence mechanisms allow us to make up stories based on unknown outcomes. And usually the stories are wildly inaccurate.
Learning how to be aware of what is serving you, is a case of fine tuning your relationship with your insides. Balancing and finding harmony in your own Love Triangle. Your mind, body & soul/spirit. This means really knowing yourself. Understanding your values. Your wants and needs.
I have learned that, if we are unaware or haven’t quite mastered the skills of such harmony (yet), a higher power may well step in to help out.
For example. If someone leaves you, or neglects you out of a situation and it leaves you feeling deflated AF – they are (most likely) doing what needs to be done on your behalf, for you to step into a whole new level of ‘being you’. That was a lot of ‘YOU’ in one sentence…
There have been times in my life where I wasn’t quite strong enough yet to leave something behind. I knew the situation was toxic. I knew I didn’t want to live my life on those terms. I can think of personal and professional situations. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to voice my concerns or make that final decision. Eventually, the ‘universe’ did it for me.
And when I say ‘Universe’, I mean to encompass any higher form which holds your beliefs.
In hindsight, I am incredibly thankful, even though it tore me apart at the time.
If you think you are in a toxic situation, whether it be a relationship, a work situation, your health, or of any other form in your life, I have some advice for you.
Either you make a decision to rectify the situation, or the situation will eventually rectify itself. If you choose the latter, it will probably cause you more pain and take more of your time and energy to process.
If you choose to make your own decision (recommended), and this may be in the form of seeking professional help, chatting to someone who has experienced similar, employing a coach, it will be so much more empowering and ‘boss’ of you. And for you.
Standing up for what you believe in and saying no to situations which no longer serve you, is the new black.
To loving ourselves… fully,