Recently, my sister turned 30. As I sat down and wrote this letter, it was evident that it was for all of you too. And sharing is caring. So…
My sister. This is for you.
‘One day it will happen. You’ll wake up and be in this place. A place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive and your vision is clear. You’re at peace. With where you’ve been, what you’ve been through and where you’re headed.’
This is the journey from your 30th onward & forever!!
It’s wintery outside. I am wrapped in my favourite fluffy blanket on the couch. We just got off the phone and you told me how the sun is shinning where you are. The kids were being terrors. I find it cute and hilarious. My house is silent, except for the clock ticking on the wall.
I’ve been thinking a lot about you reaching this birthday, and each time I do, I am flooded with a mixture of emotions and ‘big sister’ wisdom (if you can call it that?… and maybe a few hilarious jokes) that I feel compelled to share.
Reaching my thirties was when I feel like I really began to change… on the inside. To awaken. It’s a process, but it’s the beginning of really discovering who YOU are, and what YOU want!
Honestly, it’s hard to fathom that, here you are, driving on the freeway, over 100km per hour, all by yourself; you’re married, you’ve conceived 3 gorgeous babies and are raising the most beautiful family – all while still being a virgin! *wink*
You are. Literally. Wonder Woman. In my eyes. Read that again.
Where did my baby sister go?!
But seriously. Even though it’s tough for me to believe all of that, I am not surprised in the slightest. You are incredible in so many ways and are a shining light in this world. Not only do you light up my world, you bring luminosity to THE world.
So here are some words… take them or leave them. But most importantly, know that I love you more than any of them.
Let’s begin here. I have always felt it’s my duty to look after you and teach you things. To help you navigate through the world. The more time goes on, and the closer we become, the more I realise that you are teaching me much more than I ever anticipated and are forging the way through what is very unchartered territory for me. I feel at somewhat of an advantage because there is so much you are going to pass onto me in the coming years! For that, I want to thank you so very much in advance.
You are enough. Spend your life (I am certain this will be a constant lifetime task) silencing the bullshit societal ideals from your mind. Do whatever you need to do. We are at a point in time where people want a piece of us, our money, our body, our lunch (eeek SLAP!), our mind – stay in control. You are doing amazing things, every day. Read that again too.
Chase your dreams fiercely. It’s time. Don’t listen to ANYONE who dims your light or questions your path. Because the truth is, no one has ever been where you are. Right here, right now. Only you. Reading these words. And in saying that, question things constantly. Refocus. Change. It’s ok. And when I say, ‘chase your dreams’, I am not talking about building a multi-million dollar empire – I am talking about YOUR dreams! Create those culinary masterpieces that light up your insides.
Listen to those who have come before you. Respect them. Learn from the things they teach you and at the same time, pave your own way. Take it all on board. Make your own decisions and remember that you can always make another one. Live and learn.
You might feel like you don’t know the answers sometimes, but sweetheart, none of us fucking do! We are all making this life thing up! Constantly readjusting, learning and readjusting again. Anyone who seems like they’ve got it together is winging it. I’m telling you now. Life can change in an instant. We’re all guessing.
People are busy worrying about themselves, what’s going on in their life, how they look and what others think of them… you don’t need to concern yourself with such thoughts. You are an amazing woman. You’ve got this. Practice liking and loving yourself. Then, it doesn’t matter if no one else does! Truly.
Trust in yourself. Trust in your intuition. Teach it to your children. Empower them with your knowledge and encourage them to trust their decisions, trust their beliefs and challenge what is put in front of them (pretty sure they are practising this one well…), except when it comes to eating dinner, you’re the boss of dinner!
It is a gift to get to know people. And it is a gift for others to know you. Spread your light.
Speak up about things that are important to you. Even if your voice shakes. And it will shake. That’s what happens. Voices just fucking shake. The difference is in the speaking. Be brave. Live with love and integrity. Always speak YOUR truth. Maybe it will get easier… the more you do it!
Keep your mind open. When you don’t understand something, try. When you don’t agree with someone else’s opinions or decisions, be open to a different point of view. Have healthy discussions. People don’t agree. That’s life. And it’s ok.
Read more books. Um, or listen to audio books 😉 You are one of the smartest women I have ever known. Stretch your brain, test your capacity and never stop learning. An un-stretched brain is a bored brain. And bored brains are no good to anyone. Keep expanding.
Find good friends. Just a couple. (you’ve got one here!) Catch up regularly and talk about everything!! Encourage each other towards higher vibrations. Good times and positive energy. It’s good for you all. Real conversations normalise things that we think only go on in our lives, or our own minds.
Be forever curious. Marvel in the opening of a flower. Watch the butterflies flight (remember that time in the veggie garden when one of the kids yelled – ‘look, the butterflies are cuddling!’ LOL… we knew what they were reeeeeaallly doing!) Make mud pies. Taste them. Laugh more. View the world through your children’s eyes. Have silly, crazy fun. Ok, maybe don’t taste the pies. Whatever.
Feed your creative juices. We are born with abundant imagination and creativity and it’s in our best interest to feed the yearning. That shit is soul food. If you’re not feeding your soul, you wont be feeling fulfilled. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, feed your soul.
Feel your feelings. Literally. Acknowledge them. For example, ‘Hello ‘pissed off’. Or whatever they may be. Figure out how to let them flow. It’s when you bottle them up that all sorts of havoc will wreak in your mind and body. You need an outlet and you need not hang onto them. All of the feelings you feel, are normal. Just. Feel. It’s ok.
Meditate. Yes, you can. Yes. You. Can.
Fall in love under the stars. Again and again. Marvel at the wonder of us all being such tiny specks in an incomprehensibly sized universe.
Spoiler alert. The is no set grand plan. Nothing will ever be perfect. You’ll cry. You’ll fight. You’ll get shitty. You might even shit yourself one day. You’ll be ecstatically happy. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some. Roll with life. Screw up any expectations, throw them away and take it as it comes.
Never mind about showing the ‘world’ what you’re made of. Show yourself. Show your tiny humans. You are what matters. They are what matters.
If it’s not going to matter after the next 5 minutes; or 5 years; don’t let it hang out on the inside. That’s a place reserved only for important and special stuff. Only give your energy to those who reciprocate. Remember, a fuck must be earned. You can’t go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them to everyone. No. No. No. This advice is for me too. Honestly, this whole letter is for me too!
On a daily basis, I am reminded that even tho we are living different lives, in different places, we are so close. I am right there with you, and always will be. I am so grateful to have you as a sister. But what I really want you to know is that I CHOOSE to have you as my friend. I choose to love you. I choose to respect you and I choose to honour you. I choose to chat to you on the phone almost every day. I choose to share my life with you. I choose YOU!
You’re crazy and I’m outta my mind. That’s what makes this work so well. I thank the ‘higher powers’ daily that our souls chose to go on this Earth journey together. Yes, I’m a ‘hippy’ at heart, but it’s truly what I believe.
Without going on for two more days… because I could…
Stay hydrated. Get more sunshine. Treat yourself regularly and give less fucks.
I love you. So much.
Oh, and one more thing. A quote by R. H. Sin:
‘Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul. She is YOU.’
Oh, and thanks for always laughing at my (not) dumb jokes and dirty mind. I appreciate it. Life’s too short to be so serious! I know you laughed at lease once up there… love you x